Relationships Stage 4: Second Honeymoon

7 Stages of a Healthy Relationship

The Second Honeymoon

The Commitment and Friendship Stage or Second Honeymoon is the point in a relationship when couples reach a new level of intimacy with depth and stability.

Now there is the quiet after the storm. The relationship has settled. A deepening sense of friendship, commitment, trust and stability grows letting you get back to getting on with your life. You know where you stand with each other, you each have your own space and have more confidence and trust in your relationship. This is a calm and relaxing time, compared to the Conflict Stage.

There can be some hankering for the person they thought they knew a couple of stages earlier, but it is a maturation process to let the infatuation induced fantasy go, with a smile, as a fond memory and embrace the real person, your best friend you are now committed to and start really planning ahead.

At this point in the relationship couples reach a new level of intimacy with a depth and stability. The intense, but superficial, infatuation has developed into deeper feelings of love and trust between the partners. There is a predictability in the relationship which builds confidence and security. You find you can accept that your partner is not perfect, and you can accept your partner for who s/he is and find yourself comfortable with this.

Now you have some experience in resolving your conflicts, so when any do arise, as they are wont to do from time to time, you are able deal with them without feeling threatened.

A relationship really begins when there is commitment, as there is now. Enjoying the warmth of love, your bond strengthens with your deepening relationship. Your lifelong relationship really starts here, the previous three stages were preparing you for the real thing.

A warning though. Feeling comfortable with each other, do not get complacent and take each other for granted. This is the biggest danger to your relationship at this stage. A survey in the USA found that the time before a partner starts to take the other for granted, lasts on average two years, six months and 25 days. That falls into this stage’s timeframe.

There is no risk for that as long as you do not take each other for granted and communicate, communicate and . . . did I say communicate?

But there are more hurdles on the way, and it is more than a bay to the Child Stage